June, 2007

Fractured fairy tale

Jack and the giant trampoline

Once upon a time there was a little boy named jack. He and his mother were very poor and couldn’t afford rent let alone luxuries, one day his land lord threatened to kick them out so Jack’s mother told him to trade in the only thing valuable, jack’s bike.

As he walked past their local store he saw something, and in the window was a picture of a giant trampoline. He ran into the shop, quickly walking his bike up to the counter with an eager look on his face he rang the service bell once, twice and once again until finally the shopkeeper took notice, in a gruff voice the shop keeper said “How may I help you?”

Still excited jack stated “I want to trade my bike in for that trampoline”

The shop keeper replied in a posh voice “sorry, but we can’t trade your bike isn’t worth enough. If you have twenty five dollars more then you can have It.” crushed by this jack thought deeply how he could pay another twenty five dollars. He couldn’t go to mum and he had nothing left to sell, then it struck him! He could use his weeks worth lunch money. Luckily his mother had paid him that day so he could buy it. Jack took it out of the shop and started off home.

He only got a mile down the road be for he was exhausted. Luckily for him there was a local coming down the road

He asked “hey what are you doing?”

“I’m taking this home” jack replied. When he saw this the local felt sorry for him,

“Here take a ride I will take you home” luckily jack knew this local and his mother trusted him so jack took this offer and went home. When his mother saw the trampoline she bust out into words that I shouldn’t use. After that she grounded him for a month and said he couldn’t play on the tramp.

 So he waited for the next month until he finally he was allowed on to the tramp. He was so excited as soon as he was on jumped as high as he could. And again but he couldn’t jump more than 2 meters high. He wondered why he couldn’t jump higher than normal. So he went back into to his room to read the manual as he opened the manual out fell a poem.

On the poem he read, when the full moon is over head and you leap you will jump far, what you find you keep. He knew that the moon was a full moon to night and it was nearly dark so he awaited night fall eagerly.

When night fell he was so excited that he did all his chores before 8:00 so he was allowed out. He waited until full moon he hoped onto the tramp. He jumped his first jump was small then his next was bigger, bigger, bigger and even bigger until “poof” he shot through the clouds.

What he discovered was out of this world. he couldn’t believe it he was walking on air he felt so free. Anyway he looked around in the distance he spotted a giant swamp off in the horizon. Jack felt curious so headed towards the swamp.

By the time he reached the swamp he was so hungry that stomach growled loudly. He walked into the house located on the swamps shore. He walked into the kitchen with a growling stomach. Suddenly he saw her and she saw her and they were repulsed by each other of course he was more repulsed by her because she was an oger anyway she felt sorry for him and told mean, mean husband. Then she heard fe fi fo fum I smell the blood of an English man be him alive or dead ill grind his bones to make my bread. The oger quickly hide jack in her pocket.

The big male oger had just come into the lounge he commanded his wife to fetch him his money. She went and got her husbands treasure and brought it to him then she whispered to jack “his money means every thing to him without it he is nothing and he won’t boss me around as much. When he falls asleep take his money and run.” Then a great voice boomed

“Fetch me my water” she went into the kitchen and secretly doped his drink with pills.

Jack ceased the chance and took his money and ran the oger woke up and just saw jack slip out the door the oger was MAD. He chased jack to the end of the path. He cried “you’ve got no were to run now little boy.” Jack replied

“Incorrect” and jumped down to the tramp.

Quickly hoping off quickly jack called to his mother, “fetch me my saw!” she brought it to him swiftly jack cut a leg off the tramp setting it on an angle. The oger jumped he rebounded off the tramp sending him flying into the ocean. Jack and his mother are now living in Hollywood playing roles in “the adventures of jack” and the giant will never try to eat boys named jack ever, ever again.

The end.